


A Still Silence In Moonbeams

by HeadphoneTrash



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, implied roy/maes, post maes' death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24388813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphoneTrash/pseuds/HeadphoneTrash
Summary: In which Roy Mustang has a nightmare of a lost friend after a long day.
Kudos: 6





	A Still Silence In Moonbeams

**Author's Note:**

> otherwise called "haha im fucking sad" in the original google doc lol
> 
> i haven't written something out like this since some of my old rp days so this is still really new to me, but i hope you guys enjoy <3

Colonel Roy Mustang’s office was quiet, filled with a still silence and moonbeams. Almost everyone in the Mustang unit had gone home or out to the bar. One at a time filing out with casual  _ goodbye _ ’s and  _ see you later _ ’s, sounds of happy people content with their lives and going about the night. But Roy stayed, staring at the mountain of files and documents in front of him on his desk, uniform jacket shucked off and tossed astray in the prior hours. The paperwork should have been done in the early hours in the night.  _ Should have.  _

Everyone knew Roy was never good at finishing his work in a timely manner. It was always procrastination and waiting and looking out of his window, his mind never touching on what he needed to focus on. His head was currently in the clouds, up by the full moon. Thinking about something. Someone.

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was the last one, save for the Colonel, in the dimly lit space. Shuffling in the moonlit room she started towards the desk, uniform jacket tucked under her arm, a slight frown settled on her face. She could see that Roy was lost in thought, more so than usual. Papers upon papers were a familiar sight, but the look on his face was a subtle, yet strong keyhole into Roy’s mind. It spoke more words than the Colonel could ever muster, but only needed one look to understand. 

Riza cleared her throat to get his attention, and he looked up with a start, realizing that he’d been staring a little too longingly outside the window. His eyes trailed from her concerned expression to the desk, visibly frowning at the sorry state of things. Her hand rested on his shoulder.

_ Goodnight, Colonel. Please try to get some rest tonight. _

He nodded and caught a glimpse of her face before she started to walk to the door- her frown speaking of love and concern, not of any form of anger. 

_...Goodnight, Lieutenant.  _

Riza shot him one last glance before closing the door behind her. He could hear her footsteps get softer and softer in the distance. The room fell silent. Now he was alone. Really alone. Save for the papers that childishly mocked him from his own desk.  _ Damned paperwork.  _

Roy sighed and looked back out the window. He should go home, shouldn’t he ? It was late, far too deep into the night. It wasn’t like he was getting anything done, after all. He knew that as well as anyone else. 

It was so frustrating.  _ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  _

He groaned and placed his head on the desk, shoving aside some of the whatever on his desk to fall on the floor unceremoniously.  _ I’ll pick that up later.  _

Roy closed his eyes and lay there in that same still silence, cradling his head in his arms, surrounded by the papers that vexed him so. How could he even begin to work on all of this when his mind was so loud yet so… empty. Like the sound a phone makes when picked up yet not spoken into. Silence, but heavy. Silence, but you know something should be there. Silence, and then nothing. 

He lay there with his eyes closed, listening to that empty sound. For how long, he didn’t know. It was all he had in those moments. It was all his head could focus on, after all.  _ Maybe I should just go home. _

\---

A sigh and a shove later Roy picked his heavy head from the desk. He stopped for a moment before slowly standing up from his chair with a groan and a stretch. He must’ve been sitting for longer than he originally thought. Though, with how late it was, he wasn’t entirely surprised. It had been a long day, despite the lack of productivity, he noted.

Roy made his way to the door, not bothering to look at what fell earlier. It’ll just be tomorrow’s Roy’s problem. Present Roy was tired, exhausted even. Why bother cleaning in the dead of night when you barely have any energy to begin with ? It’s just papers after all. 

He grabbed his jacket from the ground where he tossed it and held it in his left hand, slowly making his way to the door. Reaching his free hand out, he held the knob and sighed. Home was still a bit of a walk away. But what difference is there when it’s already terribly late ? He shook his head. It doesn’t matter.

With that he opened the door-

**And it was dark.**

Why was it so dark ? Sure, it was late, but it feels… wrong.

_ I’m just tired. _

_It’s dark and I’m tired._ _That’s all_ , he said to himself, _that’s all._ He walked in the darkness, passing by doors and through halls of the same familiar walls and flooring of Central that he was used to. Moonlight falling from windows cast stepping stones in a path ahead. It was barely light enough to see, but that’s all he needed. Just enough light to help him home.

He reached a set of glass doors, finally, and held his hand out to grab the handle. He saw his uniform jacket sleeve. He was wearing his jacket.  _ Did I put it on ? _

But there was something still in his left hand.

Raising his hand to his face he saw a photograph. A very familiar photograph. The one of Maes and himself when they were younger, smiling and enjoying each other’s company. The edges of the picture were worn down from age-

But Maes’ face was blurry. Like someone tried to erase him. 

Suddenly, Roy’s shoulder burned and his vision doubled, sending him stumbling through the door he was poised to open. The light flickering off in the building behind him as he fell. He landed on his hands, hitting the concrete beneath him. Hard. Blood dripped from his shoulder down his left arm to the photograph, smudging over Maes’ face. The world felt like it was spinning, careening, the photograph was the only thing that Roy could keep his eyes focused on. The blood burned. His head hurt. It was dark. 

Everything was dark. Almost everything. There was light in the distance. One lone street lamp by a phone booth.

Hurriedly, Roy scrambled to his feet and lurched forward, his only instinct saying to move forward. Get to the phone. Call someone. Call someone.  _ Call him. _ Tripping over himself he ran, still clinging to the blood-soiled photograph like it was the only thing that mattered. Tripping and falling. Running. Out of breath and running. He ran as fast as his body could and yet it felt so far away. Like this darkness was pulling him backwards, but he was so close. So close.  _ So close. _

And he’s there. He made it. He’s panting and clinging to the photo and staring at the phone, dimly lit by the street lamp behind him. The phone is there. Instinct tells him to call the one number he’s most used to. 

Dial the first number. Click. The darkness moves closer. 

Dial the second. Click. The darkness is heavy. 

Dial the third. Click. The darkness is watching. 

Click, click, click... 

Ringing. Ringing. Ringing...

**Click.**

Someone answered. Roy’s breath hitches. He can’t speak. His own heartbeat raced in his ears. Silence. And then a voice.

_ Turn around. _

He drops the phone and turns to the darkness.

A gunshot sounds.

Pain shoots through him from a bullet that was never fired. Roy’s breath hitches once more- he looks down at his own chest and sees blood, a perfectly round wound right where his heart still beats. It burns, sears, pulses with the now racing beat of his heart. Time all but froze, each beat of his heart pounding louder and louder in his ears, a cadence in the void.

But he doesn’t feel alone. He feels a presence in the stillness. 

Roy looks up and sees him.  _ Maes _ . With blood caked across his chest and pooling around his feet, remorse plastered across a weak smile. A smile Roy missed, longed to see again, wished would still be in the world. The real world.  _ Roy’s _ world.  _ Maes always smiled didn’t he ? _ His hand reaches out, slowly, as Roy’s own shaking hand does the same. He wants so badly to close the gap, to feel him again. To hold him and shake him and beg him to tell Roy what happened-  _ why were you out there ? Why couldn’t you call sooner ? Why was it you and not me ? Why, why,  _ **_why_ ** _ ? _

You had people to live for. You had people who loved you. Who  _ still _ love you. Who miss you to the ends of the Earth and never let you leave their mind. Who stare out at the night sky, wishing you were staring out at the same moon. Who try so desperately to hear you in every footstep, in every opening door, in every ring of the telephone, but never hearing your voice. Or your laugh. Or everything Roy wished he could hear again. Everything Roy wished he had again.

Roy’s eyes never faltered, staring at Maes. Taking in everything. Fearing that if he looked away for even a second he might never see him again so close.

Maes’ smile never left his face.

_ I’m sorry. _

Maes’ eyes were so warm, but now, distant.

_ I’m sorry.  _

Maes’ heart bled and bled and bled.

_ I’m so sorry. _

Roy can’t tell who was speaking. If anyone was speaking. The pools of blood beneath their feet connecting them where their hands couldn’t.

_ If I just- _

Roy’s vision blurs. Was he crying ? He felt a bitter lump in his throat, unable to swallow or breathe. The world won’t stop moving in slow-motion. Everything is painfully slow, and yet so fast. It was still. Dark. Silent yet so loud. Like the phone still hanging right there off the receiver, a presence so loud and empty. He wants to reach out and hold Maes again, just one more time, but he can’t move. Roy’s frozen, looking directly at him. At the face of the person he missed so much. At the face of the person he should’ve been there for. At the one person he never thought he would have to say goodbye to. 

_ Goodbye ? No. Don’t leave.  _

The last thing Roy saw before everything went dark was Maes’ face. Sad. Pained. But full of love. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want him to go. 

**But he had to.**

\---

Roy jerked his head up from the desk, panting heavily and clutching his chest. His heart was racing. His chest ached. He felt tears bubble up, a lump welling in his throat. On the floor was a framed photograph, cast aside with papers and documents and unimportant things. The only thing Roy ever took care of on that desk. A young Maes and Roy smiling up at him.

And he cried. 

Alone in his office, face cast in moonlight, he cried. 

**Author's Note:**

> skjdfhksj aaaa thank you so much for reading this little fic !! i'm an absolute mess and i just got back into fma after just... not thinking about it for quite some time and im absolutely invested 1000% again and i miss maes hughes so so much. he's been one of my favorite characters since forever and i hold him really near and dear to my heart, easily one of my biggest comfort characters. <333
> 
> i also stand firmly on a hill of "i will ship maes and gracia with roy and no one will stop me" so i really hope some of that yearning carried through in this mess of roy mustang's feelings. it's hard when someone as bright and happy as maes disappears from your life after all.


End file.
